I Woke Up Speaking Fluent Data Science
A day in my new life
This morning I woke up mathematically (whatever that means). I walked up to the living room to find my old girl seated attentively by the TV, judging the news and adjusting all of it to fit her biases.
I said, “Good morning” to her, but it sounded like data science. Wait! I could hear myself telling me. I can speak data science now? It’s a miracle!
Of course, my mom couldn’t make sense of this new language. I told her she didn’t have to understand me and assured her that in light of this new gift, our financial problems would be over soon.
I called my love interest to give her the good news. Oh, I’ll finally be able to afford that plane ticket so I can be with her for half the year. We don’t have to wait till December.
“You asked them to excuse your French, and now you speak data science?Wow, baby! Can’t wait for you to get here!”
“I know, right? I can’t wait to data science the hell out of you.”
Long story short, she was very excited. You know, 50% the normal excitement and 50% the bedroom one.
After talking to her, I left the house in the afternoon to send some items to clients. I saw everything in data science even while wearing my correctional lenses.
Everything.
And that’s why I walked up to a happy couple.
“Are you married?” I asked them.
They couldn’t answer because they were shocked. But I expected that resistance. I was poised to collect that data.
“Are you two legally romantic?” I rephrased my initial question.
“What the data science is wrong with you?” One of them said.
It was the female member of this unspecified duo. The male member was starting to show passive signs of aggression. My data science senses immediately advised me to leave them be. The mating season may have taken a toll on them.
Anyway, I have reason to believe that it’s best to keep my data science gifts discreet.
That’s why I won’t be writing on the subject.
Thanks for reading, though. May the Data Science be with you.